One Voice Is Never Heard.

Day Eight: A Picture Of Your Favourite Band/Musician.

Honestly why is this bothering me so much? I don't even know what's bothering me to begin with. Is it school? I think it's school.

Today I stayed at home all day. What did I do? Absolutely nothing.
It felt great, and people don't understand how great it felt. After a week of non-stop crying, working, and.. well other stuff I guess, It feels so great to just sit down for a few good hours and do whatever the fuck I want.
People would rather me work, but honestly, if I didn't do this today, it would be last week all over again.

I guess the reason why I've been feeling so bothered and empty is because I haven't had time to myself anymore.
And you know what makes me upset? I haven't played guitar in three weeks.

Three.

I feel like somethings just getting in my way, and I haven't been myself in a long while now. I am strongly convinced it's school.
It's not only that I guess. I guess being pushed to lead singer instead of guitarist has got me to stop playing, but that's such a stupid reason.
Then why have I stopped playing?

I just want my music back, my social life back, and myself back.

I can't really handle anything anymore. Everywhere I look at school makes me wanna cry. I've been talking back to teachers, and have just been being a total bitch.
Yeah, I feel terrible, but it's also their fault to begin with. These teachers have no sympathy.
The other day when I broke down crying in science class, what did Sanchez do? She walked away, then assigned us more work. Is that really how you do things? Really?

Ugh. Bringing up the thing about not playing music anymore is making me cry. I miss going up to my room after school and just fooling around with the guitar, even though I can't even play very well. It's just the fact that it's something I've always wanted to do all my life, and I'm letting it just sit there collect dust.
I don't want to sing, nor do I want to be the star of the show. I wanna do what I like doing the most, and feel comfortable doing the most, which is playing guitar.

I feel so stupid being upset about this.
But honestly, after Atreyu, I'm going to L&M, I'm gonna buy myself a new patch cord, a new set of strings for my electric AND acoustic, and I just wanna play.
Even if it's just for 5 minutes.

I just really wanna play again.

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